For a couple years, my mom has told me that I need to write a blog. And I’ve repetitively refused her requests. But now, a second semester English and communications major who has this desire to write and be read (because writing is hands down the most eloquent form of communication, am I right?), why not start now?
The misfortune of starting mid-way through freshman year however is the question of what ever am I supposed to write about??? New Year’s Resolutions?? How precious my Christmas break was spent with Henry the golden retriever? How excited I am for semester two?? After writing multiple possibilities, I decided on one that felt right: I am going to write about the one thing I reallyreallyreally big-time learned during the first four months of my time at Ouachita. How God answers the heck out of my prayers!!!
“What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also.” 1 Corinthians 14:15
I don’t remember who, but I was once told by someone very wise that the most important thing you can do for your walk with Jesus is write down your prayers. Because one day, when you feel as if He hasn’t been listening to you, you can look back and realize how hilariously wrong you are. Every single prayer, prayers for the sick, prayers for safe travels or easy AP Lit exams, prayers for best friends, prayers for ourselves, would be written down in little books, ready to be read as many times necessary. As senior year pounced on me (I felt like I should have still been in kindergarten instead of trying on my cap and gown), my journal filled up with all the high school “we’ll never see each other again so who cares” drama, heart-wrenching heartache, “remember that time when?” laughter, and “high school actually wasn’t that bad” joy it brought. But the pages were also filled with frantic prayers for college. Who am I going to live with? Who am I going to be friends with? What if I make a B? What if I find out I’m stupid?? What if I don’t get to be in Tiger Tunes!?!
But now, a week from driving the long drive back to campus for round 2 of 8, I get to look back. I get to look back and smile at what the Lord has done.
I prayed for peace over my biggest fear: moving out of my home. I didn’t want to wake up and not smell Mom’s coffee and hear Henry running around downstairs. I didn’t want to park in a parking lot instead of a driveway. And I definitely did not want to climb up six feet to get into bed. But unfortunately/fortunately (I couldn’t decide how I felt on move-in day…as I drove up to my dorm that morning, I said over and over “wow, this really sucks.” lol!!!) I couldn’t go back to AHS, so I had to move into a tiny, dirty at first dorm room.
The Lord, however, knew what was going on. He knew that it was fortunate I was not going back to the high school. He knew that wow, it really didn’t suck. And He knew that He had been listening to my prayers. That night alone, He convicted my suite of scared-out-of-our-mind girls to walk across the hall and knock on our neighbors’ door because we heard their room belonged on HGTV; that was the moment Jesus introduced me to my very first college friends. Quickly, He turned my dorm into my home (away from home, don’t worry Momma), and my friends into my family.
I prayed that college wouldn’t be hard. (Side note — it is, but the Lord still provides, and that’s my point!!!) College is the opposite of what I was told it would be…yes, I actually use those textbooks, and no, I don’t actually have to do everything as a group project. I walked into each class scared to death, unprepared for the homework every night and exams every week, not to mention the horrid nightmare of a class that was college algebra!!! I was convinced I’d be put on academic suspension by fall break.
But once again, the Lord knew what He was getting me into. He provided the means for me to go to a university like Ouachita, and He did it for a reason. With each study session, each reading response, each algebra problem, I was taught how to be a better student. The Lord used each academic hardship, like the map test or the million cumulative final exams it felt like, to show me that there is more to be learned and there are smarter ways to go about it. And as of right now, I am thrilled about a whole new plate of classes and challenges, for I know He will use them to teach me, as I most likely sit in the student center, stuffing my face with Chick Fila cookies while I cry over some literary criticism or something to that degree.
Finally, I prayed that the high caliber of Ouachita students’ spirituality would not be overwhelming and defeating!! If that makes sense. Let me explain: my first college class was on Tuesday at 8:30 am. Bible Survey. I walked out of that class scared that my professor, a phenomenal pastor for a church in town, would think that my parents never took me to Sunday school, and I was never taught any Bible stories. How did I not know about how the Old and New Testaments connected?? How ignorant have I been???? Am I even a Christian?!
Yes, God said. You are. He probably laughed as He sat on His throne, watching me. I envision Him sitting up there, a little hole in the clouds right at His feet where He can watch us, watch me fret over my Biblical intelligence, and chuckle to Himself. That class alone was an answer to prayer, because not only are we called to love and fear God, we are called to know His word, and know His story. Through that class, sweet Godly friendships, and my devo partner and sweet friend Amanda, the Lord answered yet another one of my big prayers.
Jesus answered so many prayers in such a short period of time. I’ve met what feels like thousands of sweet sweet friends. While I did move out, the Lord placed me only a couple minutes away, because He knew I’d need to see my best friend and mom every once and a while (we talk on the phone everyday). He gave me a roommate and suitemates, and honorary roommates, who don’t judge me for wearing house slippers. He gave me friends who carried me through late night study sessions so we could finish with all As. He also gave me Tiger Tunes!!!!!!!!! And so, so, so much more.
I came into college a couple months ago, journal in hand, completely and utterly unprepared. But that’s okay!!!! Because Jesus takes care. Jesus read that journal, bless His heart, and He has the power to answer prayers!! And besides, just as Paul decided, we “decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” (1 Corinthians 2:2) It’s not shameful to be unprepared…what else is there to know besides Him? (Memorize that verse for when you don’t know the answer to your next essay question! You’re welcome!!!!)
Here’s to another semester of being unprepared!!! Stay tuned
-A
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